I don’t remember the name of the road we were on really; it may have been route 2. We were making excellent time across the island to Rincon. By excellent I mean we would’ve had a few hours to deviate from our planned route to go see some monkeys…or at least a beautiful landscape.
“This looks like a good place to stop and eat,” said Eli. He pulled into the parking lot and parked the rental. We got out and stretched. For some reason, being in a car can make you feel like you’ve shrunk a few inches. Wierd.
Just then I realized I hadn’t seen or felt my rubberbanded pieces of plastic, the only important things I brought to Puerto Rico besides myself: my license, debit card, and insurance cards. Oh crap. I reluctantly shared the news and started rummaging through my backpack. Every pocket seemed like an endless abyss; the amount of useless things that kept coming out of these pockets was almost infinite.
I realized at just about the exact moment that I started going through my stuff that my rubberbanded plastic wouldn’t be there. I know I didn’t put them in the backpack, but I guess I was hoping that I’d been absent-minded (as usual) and forgot that I’d tucked that stuff away. But still I searched; I just wanted my stuff to materialize from nothing.
That wasn’t the case, though. Just then I flashed back to the car ride to La Guardia. As we pulled into the terminal, I pulled out my license and debit card so I could leave my wallet and certifications home. They’re too expensive and annoying to replace. I turned back around right before closing the car door and pulled my insurance cards out…hey, you never know.
“Maybe you should take your wallet. It’s bulky so you’ll know if it’s missing pretty much right away,” advised mom. I swear, the woman is either psychic or she knows I’m a moron. Maybe it’s both.
“It’s okay. It’ll be fine,” I retorted, annoyed that she thought I’d be stupid enough to lose my stuff. She gave me a look and tucked my wallet into her purse without a word. Flash forward to present: Damn it! She told me so and she’ll tell me so again when I ask her to ship me my passport. Good thing I’d just gotten the thing renewed a month earlier.
Eli and I looked and relooked through our bags, the car, our pockets, but nothing. I don’t remember whose idea it was, not that it matters really, but one of us thought it might be a good idea to call the car rental place in Condado so someone could check.
Another flashback. Back at Condado’s Avis branch, where we outsmarted the lady at the counter, I went to the bathroom like a good girl does before a long trip. My pockets weren’t that deep, so I thought it would be safer to stuff my plastic into my pants because they were really tight. Flash forward. Crap.I left it in the bathroom. I called and spoke with the lady at the Avis counter, but she claimed it wasn’t in the bathroom or in the office, which was wierd because nobody had come in after us. Lies!
So we drove back the two hours (I know, I suck and Eli rules). When we got back to Condado, the Avis was just about closed, but the lady let us look around before she finished closing. Hopeful the way a child at Christmas hopes that they’ll get that really expensive, bloody, and violent game they just saw on TV, I frantically looked around.
Bathroom. Nothing. Garbage. Nothing. Parking lot. Nothing. Once more around the office. Nothing. I would’ve cavity searched this lady if it wasn’t the ultimate violation of privacy and, more importantly, illegal. How is it possible that my stuff wasn’t here if nobody came in after us? We hadn’t stopped anywhere else but that parking lot. If not in the car, then the office, right? Wrong. One more time we checked all our stuff, but of course my ID and debit card hadn’t magically reappeared. I was S.O.L.
“What are you going to do?” asked Eli, who was being crazy supportive.
“Ask mom to send my passport, checkbook, and cash,” I replied defeatedly, “hopefully it’ll get here before we’re supposed to leave.” I texted my mother the major incident at hand because I was too embarrassed to speak to her. Her reply was priceless: LOL.
We started driving back towards Rincon again, this time with night rapidly approaching, which meant no time for monkeys. Besides not having any time, our funds had just been cut in half. No money for anything extraordinary that the island offers. Fail me. No money, no monkeys. Just waiting.
I won’t leave you hanging with the ending. Four days later, my things arrived in Mayaguez. The next day, we went home. Overall, I feel pretty confident in saying we had a good time and it’s only because we didn’t stay stuck on the “Jen’s an idiot and lost her stuff” problem. We made due with what we had. Lessons learned? Bring the wallet. Listen to mom. Make lemonade with those lemons…
